Silent Night 2011

Working on the couch this afternoon at home I heard what sounded like singing coming from upstairs. I saved my work & decided to go investigate. Merry Christmas Ya'll.

Of Unicorns & Eagles

Dad - um - ya know. if you fight both an eagle and - um - a unicorn you can get killed!

An eagle -um- it could peck your eyes... or scratch you with um its -um- claws...

L: (working on a drawing, doesn't even look up) Talons.

C: What? What are talons?

L: (Still head down, drawing)That's what you call an eagles claws.

C: Oh. Ok...

The conversation then spun off in another direction. I never heard all the horrible things a unicorn could do to me. I think I'll just make a note to avoid both unicorns and eagles.

Good Guess Dad...

Diving to a birthday party this weekend - from the back seat:

Cooper: "Dad what are trees made out of?"
Me: "Wood"
Cooper: "Correct! What are signs made out of?"
Me: (not sure I heard him right over the radio)"Signs?"
Cooper: "Good guess Dad, but NO. Signs are not made out of signs. They are made out of metal."

Lillian's dialog with Lillian

Lillian had to do a report on Hurricanes this weekend for school. She decided she wanted to do a video.

She also decided the video should be done as a news broadcast with her acting as both the in-studio anchor and the 'on-the scene' reporter.

The end result was a bit schizophrenic, but I think she did a great job. She was especially tolerant of Robin spraying her with the hose to simulate the tropical storm.

Team Potato!

Cooper's started participating in an after-school activity called "play ball." Its an introduction to lots of team sports for little ones.

Last week the kids are debating what to use as their team name. Several proposed options like "Hulk" or "The Transformers." Though he didn't get any buy-in from the other kids, Cooper pushed vehemently for "Potato."

Later, when I asked him why the conversation went something like this:

C: Because a potato is the biggest and strongest of all the fruits and vegetables.
Me: Really? I always thought they just kind of sat there on the plate.
C: Dad, if you were a potato, don't you think you'd be big and strong?
Me: I guess I really hadn't thought about it... If a potato is big and strong, what about a watermelon?
C: I thought about that and, don't get me wrong, I think a watermelon is probably stronger than a potato, but I think the potato is probably tougher.

More imponderables

Driving home from visiting family over thanksgiving.

Cooper: "Dad, what are eyes made out of?"

Clapping inside my ears

Cooper: Ok. Everybody listen and tell me if you hear something that sounds like a cricket…

… Did you hear that?

Me: Nope. Didn't hear anything.

Cooper (disappointed): MAN! I guess you guys just can't hear it when I clap inside my ears.

Me: ………………(processing)……………. What?!

Cooper: I guess you guys would call it "raising you eye brows, then letting them down, then raising them again, then letting them down…" But I call it clapping inside my ears.

After about five more minutes of explanation I finally figured out that he was trying to wiggle his ears, noticed the sound it made in his head, and thought he had figured out how to make cricket sounds that others could hear as well.

Wait for it...

Last week we had VBS at church. This was during the end of week wrap-up where the kids were singing for parents and grandparents.

Moments of self-reflection

Last week at the table...
Cooper: Dad, you know that episode of Batman with the guy who can turn back time?

Me: Yeah.

Cooper: I'm JUST like that guy, except I can't turn back time.

The Luchador of York SC

Fear him and his lizard pajamas!!!

Poor Mary Poppins

At breakfast this morning...

Cooper: "Dad, know what Mary Poppins does on her birthday?"

Me: "Dunno..."

Cooper: "Works."

Zombies make poor house help

Cooper: Dad, if there were really zombies, I don't think they'd eat anything. They'd just wander around and parts of them might fall off if they bumped into stuff or if someone threw something at them and it hit them and blew up.

Me: really?

Cooper: Yes. I think they'd just wander around and then we'd be homeless.

Me: Why? Would they eat our house?

Cooper: No. Remember? I don't think they'd eat anything. They'd just want to move around in our house and do stuff.

Me: Like what?

Cooper: Like clean it, or vacuum, or dust stuff…

Me: That would be ok. I wouldn't mind a bunch of zombies coming by to clean our house.

Lillian: Dad! They really wouldn't do a very good job.

Cooper: Yeah. She's right.

Lillian: They'd try to vacuum the wood floor and they'd get tangled in the chord and pull it out of the wall when they were vacuuming. They just don't do good work.

Cooper: Yeah.

Morning Car Talk

Every morning I drive the kids to school. Its never boring, but this morning’s banter was particularly entertaining. Lillian and Cooper had both gotten out of bed early, dressed and eaten quickly, and were waiting at the door 15 minutes ahead of schedule. All in hopes of visiting the “school store.”

This is a little closet manned by the 4th and 5th graders to sell pencils, erasers, notebooks, etc. to other kids.

As I get in the car for the brief drive, here’s where I come in on their conversation:

Lillian:…just put it in your shoe!

Cooper: My shoe?! I’m not putting my dollar in my shoe.

Lillian: Its safer there. That way the pick-pockets won’t get it.

Cooper: Really? I didn’t think about that.

Lillian: Yeah. So Emily has a bunch of pen-highlighters that she got from the school store, but when I went and asked for one they just gave me a regular old highlighter.

Me: So the others have a ballpoint pen on one end and a highlighter on the other?

Lillian: Yeah! And the pen part had a cap and they smell like all kinds of fruit!

Cooper: Wooooooooooooow… Lillian, can we go to the store together?

Lillian: (after a thoughtful pause)…I guess so, but you have to let me walk in front.

Cooper: ok.

(at this point the kids are about to get out of the car)

Lillian: Dad. I think I just saw a lady with a mustache.

Me: hmmmm. Ok.

Lillian & Cooper: K. Love you, Bye.

(what a interesting and strange world they must live in)

Ax Cop - Brilliant!

This morning a coworker pointed me to an amazing comic being written by a 6 year old boy and drawn by his 30 year old brother. I can soooo see my kids coming up with a story line like this. Definitely has me thinking about trying to collaborate with them on a comic book project.

To experience the overwhelming awesomeness that is 6 year old narrative prose, check out this animated trailer created from issue one of Axe Cop: http://www.darkhorse.com/Blog/283/axe-cop-bad-guy-earth-comic-trailer

More solid advice from Lillian over breakfast

If you have a new baby, that's a really bad time to have a house fire. You should wait until the baby is at least three or four years old.

I think I'm going to go ahead and schedule ours for never.

This from Lillian this morning...

As I was making coffee this morning, Lillian spontaneously passed on the following advice between bites of Grape Nuts:

"Hey..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"If you work at a junk yard..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"And they have old junk cars there..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"And they move those cars with a giant magnet on a crane..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"Don't wear earrings."

I think most people do this at the beach...