While drying off after a bath...

Cooper: Daddy, have you ever seen a giraffe eat seaweed?

James: Mmmm, no, can't say I have. Have you?

Cooper (smiling knowingly): Oh yeah. Many times.

Breaking A Record

Cooper to Robin 7:00 am
Mommy I want to break a record today, I just don't know which one to break yet.

Cooper & James 7:40 am - in the car
James: So, Mommy told me you were going to break a record today.

Cooper: Yeah, I was going to get the record for the longest fingernails, but Amma cut my nails last night, so I can't get that one. Anyway, I think Amma is going to break that record. She has metal and stuff in her fingernails.

James: Cooper, what do you think a record is?

Cooper: Its a big piece of golden wood... with a "W" on it... and the "W" is gold too.

Cooper's Urban Dictionary II

Cooper walks up to me and hits me with his head. He then quickly turns around and hits me with his rear end.

Me: Cooper? What are you doing?

Cooper: Head - Butt

Cooper's Urban Dictionary

Hair attack (air attack?): as best we can tell, this is a boomerang or perhaps a grappling hook. Regardless, Batman apparently has the market cornered on hair attacks. That guy just loves ‘em.

Example: "Bad robots can't fight me! My hair attacks are stronger than strong!"

Riding with his grandmother.

"Amma, some of these cars are going to work... some are going to school... some are going to a toy store...

... but you just can't tell which ones."

Of Spikes & Trees

James:“I know you didn’t want to go to school today. Thanks for getting dressed and getting ready anyway.”
Cooper: “Yeah, sometimes the spikes make it hard. They tear my clothes.”
James:“The spikes?”
Cooper: “Yeah, the ones in my legs. They make it easier to climb trees, but they get in the way of my pants.”

. . . Later.

Cooper: “Daddy, why did God make trees?” (sun shining in his eyes).
James: “Well, we breathe in good air and breathe out bad air. Trees breathe in bad air. What do you think they breathe out?”
Cooper: “Good air! Daddy, sometimes I just hug trees. Not light poles though… they burn my eyes.”

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Those with doors and those without...

Cooper: Some people have doors on their houses, and they can just walk right in. Some people have no doors on their house at all and they have to use their magic to get into the house. Then, all the other people can come and bang on the walls, but that person doesn’t have to come out. And the people on the outside can never know if anyone’s even really in there.

James: That is a very interesting story Cooper!

Cooper: That’s no story Daddy. That is true.

James: oh.

Cooper: … and that is craaaaazy.

Dad is Powereful!

First week of preschool. During our morning drive, we drive directly into the sunrise. Cooper (squinting), “Daddy, can you please turn off the sun?” At that moment we had to turn and the sun went behind the trees.

Cooper (very casually) “Thanks Dad.”

Wha?!

Cooper: Can I climb on your shoulders?
James: Not right now. I need to go and help a friend move something heavy.
Cooper: What are you moving?
James: A radial arm saw.
Cooper: What's that?
James: Its a big saw. You use it to cut wood.
Cooper: And it has a piano attached to it?
James: um. no.
Cooper: OK. Never mind then.

Good Luck With That

Sitting by the play table before church – grunting loudly. James was afraid he was about to have an accident in his pants. James, “Cooper! What are you doing?!” Cooper (between grunts) “Trying… to… grow… a… third… arm…”

Invisible Snowman

Two days ago, Cooper and I were sitting on the couch looking through some school papers of his. We came to one drawn with white chalk on a black piece of paper. He looked at it with a disappointed expression and sighed.

"I was trying to draw an invisible snowman... something went wrong."

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Spiders!

Walking out to the car, Cooper spots a spider and steps on it. Seeing this, Robin asked him why he killed the spider. She goes on to explain that spiders help us by eating other insects that might otherwise bother us.

After some thoughtful consideration, Cooper replied, “You know, that’s ok. We don’t really need the spiders after all. I can kill the other bugs myself.”

Kinda Creepy

Cooper thinks of nighttime, quite literally as dark time. He even refers to the daylight hours as “today” and the nighttime hours as “todark.” This leads to some kind of creepy comments at times.

One afternoon, while getting dressed to go out, Cooper was happily humming a tune while putting on his shoes in his room. At some point, he looked up & saw the sun was not as high in the sky.

He looked at me, totally stopped humming, and somberly stated under his breath, “The darkness is coming…” After that, he popped right back to happily humming his song and putting on his shoes.

So. The name of the blog is chucka-nuts...

Cooper, just out of school, runs into my office and slaps two tiny seeds on the desk.
“Look Dad! I found two chucka-nuts!”
James: “What are chucka-nuts?”
Cooper: “Those are chucka-nuts.”
James: “Where did they come from?”
Cooper: “A chucka-nut tree.”
James: “Oh. What do you do with them?”
Cooper: “What do you mean?”
James: “If I planted them, what would grow?”
Cooper: (becoming impatient), “A chucka-nut tree.”
James: “What’s a chucka-nut tree?”
Cooper: (obviously exasperated - speaking slowly as to a small child)“A – tree – that – grows - chucka-nuts.”

Honey Spiders

Cooper: (on the way to pick Lillian up from a sleep-over), “…So when I see black widow spiders I just run toward them. They don’t expect that & it makes them scared and run away.”

James: “Yeah, that’s not such a good idea. (goes on to explain the many dangers of trying to bully black widow spiders).

Cooper: “OK, but honey spiders are ok. They don’t bite kids.”

James: “Honey spiders?”

Cooper:“Yeah. They’re only this big (holds two fingers right against one another illustrating 0 size), until they start filling with honey. Then they grow and grow and grow until they're this big (hold arms apart).”

James: “Really?”

Cooper: “Yeah. Then little boys and girls come up with empty jars and hold them out to the honey spider. That’s when he squirts all his honey out and fills up their jars… then he gets tiny again.”

James: “But the honey spiders only do this for little kids?”

Cooper: “Yeah, they bite grown ups. If I were you I’d keep away from the honey spiders.”

Quiet question from the back seat

"What do butterflies look like when they are really mad?"

This is where it all begins...

Robin: "What made you think of that Cooper?"
Cooper: "My brain Mommy. I couldn't think of any of this stuff without my brain."

From the mouth of babes

For several months, the casual observations of my young son, Cooper, have become legend around my workplace. He has a way of seeing and talking about his world that is both very odd & highly entertaining. Its reached the point where co-workers will routinely stop me and ask for Cooper's latest anecdote or nugget of wisdom.

After months of this, I've finally been talked into posting Cooper's collected thoughts to the web.

Ladies and Gentlemen... welcome to Cooper's Mind.