Thursday, March 20, 2014

Someday when you're smaller...




Max to Robin:  You don't really know how to do Legos.  Maybe when you are smaller you will.  Wait, a long, long time ago you've already been smaller, right? 

Robin to Max: Yes Max.  My time came and went.  It is a tragedy.

Kids are just weird...


This morning my wife and I woke to the sound of our 4yo screaming. This isn't all that unusual, so we just continued to sleep. After a while everything calmed down.

Once the rest of the morning drama was over and I was driving the other two to school I asked, "So Lillian and Cooper, what was Max screaming about this morning?"

Cooper: Oh, he was just upset because we were trying to put a blonde wig on him and wrap him up in a white furry coat.

(Note: this would have been around 6:00 in the morning)

Me: What? Why were you guys doing that to him?

Lillian: So he'd look like a Mom.

Me: Why was he supposed to look like a Mom?

Lillian: Because Cooper knew the secret password and I thought if I could convince him Max was his mother he'd trust her enough to give him the password/

Cooper: The secret password was 205347.

(Note: Max is barely 4 years old and he was supposed to guess a seemingly random six digit number)

Me: So why was Max crying?

Cooper: because he didn't want to dress up like a Mom. By the way, if we were to build a fire, it should be in the toy box in my room.

Me: What?!

Lillian: That's what the password was for. If we could get the secret password from Cooper then we could steal fire from the sun.

(So - in short, before sunrise, my two oldest dragged my youngest son out of bed ... well actually he was sleeping in a tent in the middle of his room... to dress him like a woman, have him pose as his brother's mother, and use him to extract a numerical password from my oldest boy, so that my 10 and 4 year old could steal fire from the sun and ignite their toy box)

This isn't honestly all that unusual in our house.