Young Prophet

Sitting down to breakfast before heading to school, Cooper took a bite of his oatmeal. "Ow! That's hot. I think my tongue is on fire."

(Looks at his oatmeal thoughtfully for a moment)... "I guess God's back in heaven now."

Robin: "What?"

Cooper: "You know. That story... 'When God is in heaven all of our tongues will become fire."

(We still have no idea what he's talking about)

Cooper's Urban Dictionary IV

Berfing: To chew on a hard object with your gums.

Cooper: "Mommy, I just found Max's berfing toy on the kitchen counter!"
Robin: "What?"
James: "Do you mean burping?"
Cooper: "No. Berfing" (hands the teething ring to Max). "Look! He can berf all by himself!"

Tough crowd for George Washington

Looking at her dollar bill:
Lillian: “Dad, why did George Washing get killed for having pony tail girl hair?”
Me: “He wasn’t killed. He died of a bad disease, something to do with his throat I believe. Also, back then, many men had hair like that.”
Lillian: “I think he looks like a girl.”
Me: “Not a very pretty girl.”
Lillian: “Well I think he’s pretty.”
Cooper: exasperated moan “Ah! George Washington was such an annoying reader and a tree cutter downer too! He ran around in the woods cutting down everyone’s trees.”
Me: “What do you mean an annoying reader?”
Cooper: “He read ALL THE TIME, and he wouldn’t let anyone else read while he was reading.”
Me: “What makes you say that?”
Cooper: “I saw the movie.”

So there you go. The father of our country was a cross-dressing, manic lumberjack, with a strange intolerance for people reading near him.