Zombies make poor house help

Cooper: Dad, if there were really zombies, I don't think they'd eat anything. They'd just wander around and parts of them might fall off if they bumped into stuff or if someone threw something at them and it hit them and blew up.

Me: really?

Cooper: Yes. I think they'd just wander around and then we'd be homeless.

Me: Why? Would they eat our house?

Cooper: No. Remember? I don't think they'd eat anything. They'd just want to move around in our house and do stuff.

Me: Like what?

Cooper: Like clean it, or vacuum, or dust stuff…

Me: That would be ok. I wouldn't mind a bunch of zombies coming by to clean our house.

Lillian: Dad! They really wouldn't do a very good job.

Cooper: Yeah. She's right.

Lillian: They'd try to vacuum the wood floor and they'd get tangled in the chord and pull it out of the wall when they were vacuuming. They just don't do good work.

Cooper: Yeah.

Morning Car Talk

Every morning I drive the kids to school. Its never boring, but this morning’s banter was particularly entertaining. Lillian and Cooper had both gotten out of bed early, dressed and eaten quickly, and were waiting at the door 15 minutes ahead of schedule. All in hopes of visiting the “school store.”

This is a little closet manned by the 4th and 5th graders to sell pencils, erasers, notebooks, etc. to other kids.

As I get in the car for the brief drive, here’s where I come in on their conversation:

Lillian:…just put it in your shoe!

Cooper: My shoe?! I’m not putting my dollar in my shoe.

Lillian: Its safer there. That way the pick-pockets won’t get it.

Cooper: Really? I didn’t think about that.

Lillian: Yeah. So Emily has a bunch of pen-highlighters that she got from the school store, but when I went and asked for one they just gave me a regular old highlighter.

Me: So the others have a ballpoint pen on one end and a highlighter on the other?

Lillian: Yeah! And the pen part had a cap and they smell like all kinds of fruit!

Cooper: Wooooooooooooow… Lillian, can we go to the store together?

Lillian: (after a thoughtful pause)…I guess so, but you have to let me walk in front.

Cooper: ok.

(at this point the kids are about to get out of the car)

Lillian: Dad. I think I just saw a lady with a mustache.

Me: hmmmm. Ok.

Lillian & Cooper: K. Love you, Bye.

(what a interesting and strange world they must live in)

Ax Cop - Brilliant!

This morning a coworker pointed me to an amazing comic being written by a 6 year old boy and drawn by his 30 year old brother. I can soooo see my kids coming up with a story line like this. Definitely has me thinking about trying to collaborate with them on a comic book project.

To experience the overwhelming awesomeness that is 6 year old narrative prose, check out this animated trailer created from issue one of Axe Cop: http://www.darkhorse.com/Blog/283/axe-cop-bad-guy-earth-comic-trailer

More solid advice from Lillian over breakfast

If you have a new baby, that's a really bad time to have a house fire. You should wait until the baby is at least three or four years old.

I think I'm going to go ahead and schedule ours for never.

This from Lillian this morning...

As I was making coffee this morning, Lillian spontaneously passed on the following advice between bites of Grape Nuts:

"Hey..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"If you work at a junk yard..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"And they have old junk cars there..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"And they move those cars with a giant magnet on a crane..."
(crunch-crunch-crunch...)
"Don't wear earrings."

I think most people do this at the beach...

Think "Paleontologist" is the word you're looking for

Tonight Cooper had to clean the bathroom due to an unfavorable report from school. He did so thoroughly and without complaint. When done, Robin was complimenting him on a job well done. Cooper replied, "I kinda like cleaning the bathroom. I can pretend I'm an alientologist polishing the bones!"