I think most people do this at the beach...

Think "Paleontologist" is the word you're looking for

Tonight Cooper had to clean the bathroom due to an unfavorable report from school. He did so thoroughly and without complaint. When done, Robin was complimenting him on a job well done. Cooper replied, "I kinda like cleaning the bathroom. I can pretend I'm an alientologist polishing the bones!"

An Armstrong by any other name...

Lillian: "Mom, I learned a story in music class today. Louise Armstrong was a musician."
Me: "You mean Louis Armstrong?"
Lillian, "Oh, yeah, Louis. He used to play skat music and then he became a biker."
Me: What?! Wait, where did you learn the biker part?
Lillian: Daddy told me.
Me: Do you mean Lance Armstrong?
Lillian: Oh, yeah!! Lance. That's the one. He used to play skat music before he became a biker.
Me: I think you mean two different people. Louis Armstrong was a musician and Lance Armstrong is a famous bicycle rider.
Lillian: No, no, I remember. Dad told me. It's the same person.

Young Prophet

Sitting down to breakfast before heading to school, Cooper took a bite of his oatmeal. "Ow! That's hot. I think my tongue is on fire."

(Looks at his oatmeal thoughtfully for a moment)... "I guess God's back in heaven now."

Robin: "What?"

Cooper: "You know. That story... 'When God is in heaven all of our tongues will become fire."

(We still have no idea what he's talking about)

Cooper's Urban Dictionary IV

Berfing: To chew on a hard object with your gums.

Cooper: "Mommy, I just found Max's berfing toy on the kitchen counter!"
Robin: "What?"
James: "Do you mean burping?"
Cooper: "No. Berfing" (hands the teething ring to Max). "Look! He can berf all by himself!"

Tough crowd for George Washington

Looking at her dollar bill:
Lillian: “Dad, why did George Washing get killed for having pony tail girl hair?”
Me: “He wasn’t killed. He died of a bad disease, something to do with his throat I believe. Also, back then, many men had hair like that.”
Lillian: “I think he looks like a girl.”
Me: “Not a very pretty girl.”
Lillian: “Well I think he’s pretty.”
Cooper: exasperated moan “Ah! George Washington was such an annoying reader and a tree cutter downer too! He ran around in the woods cutting down everyone’s trees.”
Me: “What do you mean an annoying reader?”
Cooper: “He read ALL THE TIME, and he wouldn’t let anyone else read while he was reading.”
Me: “What makes you say that?”
Cooper: “I saw the movie.”

So there you go. The father of our country was a cross-dressing, manic lumberjack, with a strange intolerance for people reading near him.

Cooper's Song

Cooper is lying next to Max on the floor singing, "My hand's stuck in my butt, my hand's stuck in my butt, hi, ho the derry-o, my hand's stuck in my butt."

And of course, it is true to life. Somehow, don't think this nursery rhyme variation will be duplicated for the ages.